Issue #22: Hazelnut Brown Butter Brownies—Not as Obscene as Last Week in America, But Close
Dear Disaster Bakers,
I started this email from the skies. I'd taken off about 30 minutes prior and decided to splurge on WiFi to compose this note. You were and remain worth it. At the time, I was en route to Munich (and from there, to Berlin and Krakow) for a fellowship. For two weeks, I visited some of the most central sites of the Holocaust from memorials to the addresses of former Nazi headquarters to Auschwitz itself.
The idea behind the trip was to think not from the perspective of the victims (and as the granddaughter of survivors, that's the point of view I tend to adopt), but from the perspective of the perpetrators. All the people who rubber stamped the construction of concentration camps, who helped draft laws that stripped Jews of their citizenship and rights, who contrived propaganda, who averted their gaze, who weren't masterminds, just useful, obedient cogs in a relentless wheel.
A month later, the whole trip feels improbable. Like the sun or the ocean—too much to take in at once. I won't attempt to explain it here, but I do plan to write about it at some point. I'd like to be able to articulate what it feels like for a person like me to walk into Auschwitz and then be free to walk out. I've never felt luckier or more marked.
But for now, I'll leave it at that. We have local and newer horrors to discuss.
Last week, while the rest of us navigated a work week, a heat wave, and the existential crisis that it is to be human and sentient in 2019, Donald Trump decided to recommit to his most odious qualities and, oh, threaten the foundation of our republic while he was at it. This is like when Shannon and David Beador renewed their vows on Real Housewives of Orange County, and we were all, this is her standard for happiness? Can we not aim higher? Reader, she could not. We could not.
Shannon and David are now divorced, but America is still in an "it's complicated" relationship with a septuagenarian bigot who has (in the time since I last emailed) also been accused of rape.
I know it feels like eons, but let's force ourselves to remember what happened just last week: First, Trump insisted that four new, progressive lawmakers who happen to be women and people of color should "go back" to where they came from, despite the fact that all four are American citizens, three were born here, and each in all likelihood loves the United States with a reverence than Trump reserves for fast food and gilded toilets. Then, Trump traveled to North Carolina to conduct the latest in a series of racist, sexist orchestras at which hoards of people shouted "Treason!" and "Send her back!" (Terrifying, and off-key!) You can read about it in all its gruesome detail here.
It feels impossible to express how sad it is to me that I left literal Auschwitz to return to this land at this moment; a place that seems ever more determined to default on its national promises. I don't have the words, just low, guttural moans. So I'll leave it to Adam Serwer at the Atlantic. Read this.
In the meantime, we could chat now about Mueller, who delivered a fine performance on the Hill this week and whom I promise was never going to be our savior. We could talk about Epstein, except I'd rather focus on Julie K. Brown, the incredible reporter who earned the trust of his victims and then refused to give up on their stories. We could even talk about Anthony Weiner, who has somehow squirmed back into the discourse. That's what a hot mess this week has been. It's an option to talk about Anthony Weiner. He's topical. Weather-wise, news-wise, bad men-wise, I've never been happier it's almost the weekend.
So here's what I propose: Read a little, weep a little, then make these brownies.
As usual, brown butter cannot cure us or make people not racist. But it can make a kitchen smell luxurious and full of life, and it's not so bad to be reminded that it's nice to be alive.
Hazelnut Brown Butter Brownies (P.S. They're Gluten-Free)
Servings: 24 brownies
Distractability: 5
Scratchpad: Two points for brown butter, one point for toasted hazelnut flour, and one point for their combined scent. Greater than the sum of their parts! Plus, an additional point for the use of an electric mixer—a white noise machine that produces brownie batter. We are so fortunate.
Notes: This recipe is another smash from Stella Parks, whose name you might remember from Issue #18: Millennial-Pink Pop Tarts. I didn't fiddle much with her instructions here, but I do like to swap Parks' homemade hazelnut meal for store-bought flour. I find it much easier to use in the recipe and a breeze to toast. I also think it produces a better, more luscious brownie. But if hazelnut flour isn't available, feel free to use whole hazelnuts, toast them three or four minutes more than outlined in the steps below, and grind them in a food processor once cool. It's more work, and another utensil to clean, but the end of the world is near. What's one more dish?
Both times I made these I upped the salt and sprinkled some additional flakes on top. I also added a tablespoon of vanilla. The salt, I think, is a good enhancement. The vanilla, I suspect, gets a little lost amidst all the warm butter and coffee and chocolate and hazelnut. Feel free to skip it.
Also, friends! After what we've had to put up with this week, please do not ask me to scale back the sugar in this recipe. Times are hard, and we need it.
Ingredients:
2 1/4 cups (200 grams) hazelnut flour
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons (96 grams) unsweetened cocoa powder
2 teaspoons salt, plus additional to sprinkle
3 cups (600 grams—yes, 600! Calm down) sugar
4 sticks (450 grams) unsalted butter
2 cups (340 grams) bittersweet chocolate, chopped
6 large eggs
1 tablespoon instant coffee or espresso dissolved in one tablespoon hot water
1 tablespoon vanilla
To-Do List:
Preheat the oven to 325F. Line a 9x13-inch pan with parchment paper. (If you'd like to be rather neat about this, trim the parchment to make a little "basket" for the brownie batter to sit in. The finished bars will release from the pan like a dream, and the corners will be perfect right angles. Alas! I have no time and no patience and an electoral college to oppose, so I just use a regular piece of parchment!)
Toast the hazelnut flour. In that newly lined pan, spread the hazelnut flour in an even layer and toast for 8-10 minutes. Keep an eye on it, so it doesn't burn. Once it smells so good you're beginning to reconsider your life choices (why didn't you become a pastry chef?), remove from the oven and let cool. Then, pour into a large bowl. (But keep that parchment paper in that pan! It's fine if some errant hazelnut flour sticks to it.)
To the bowl with the hazelnut flour, add cocoa, salt, and 1/2 cup (that's 100 grams) sugar. Mix until well-combined.
In a medium sauce pan, make brown butter. Melt butter over medium heat until foam subsides and the liquid turns gold and the world feels full of promise. (Also, small brown flecks should be visible at the bottom of the pan.) Remove butter from heat, then add chopped chocolate. Let stand about 2 minutes, then mix until combined. Be sure to scrape up all the brown butter bits from the bottom of the pan. Let cool somewhat.
Assemble the batter. In a large bowl and with the help of an electric mixer, beat eggs, leftover sugar (that's 2 1/2 cups or 500 grams), coffee, and vanilla until at least doubled in volume. This should take 3-5 minutes. Beat in chocolate-butter mixture. Add cocoa-hazelnut mixture and beat to combine. Scrape down the sides to get it all in there, then pulse once or twice more.
Pour batter into prepared pan. Sprinkle with a flaked salt, if you have some. I like Maldon. Bake for about 50 minutes, until the top shines and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out with just a few crumbs (but no wet batter) attached.
Let brownie cool. Cut and serve. Ice cream optional, but why not?
Distractions, Diversions, Three Recipes That Taste Like Summer
No-Brainer Corn Salad from Bon Appétit (a magazine which I for the record subscribed to a few months ago and has delighted me to no end; the fonts alone!)
Mango and Sticky Rice Popsicles from the New York Times
Frozen Watermelon Mojitos from Smitten Kitchen
Fork Over That Dough
A 18-year-old U.S. citizen was held in a detention center for over three weeks last month and has since said he lost 26 pounds due to lack of food and overall hideous treatment. Francisco Galicia told reporters that he wasn't allowed to shower at all and that the cells were so overcrowded some men had to sleep on the bathroom floor.
No one—no matter their citizenship status—should have to endure such conditions. But we should all be alarmed that CBP officers felt emboldened to hold a citizen for a little less than a month with no explanation. The ante has been upped. The frog is boiled.
In other words, please donate to RAICES.
Oh, And
A whole bunch of people are here for the first time, thanks to the stupendous Edith Young, who included this newsletter in her roundup of best e-missives for Man Repeller. Edith, ILY. And new commiserators, welcome! Please send requests, recommendations, and unintelligible but deeply felt sequences of keyboard rage strokes to disasterbaking@gmail.com.