Issue #21: The Easiest Coconut Macaroons for *Gestures at the Universe*
Dear Disaster Bakers,
I'm baaaaaack. I haven't missed that much. Let's see, let's see. Just a couple rounds of impeachment chatter, bad news about planet earth, disaster in Sri Lanka, the return of the measles, the Mueller Report, a lot of debacles between celebrities and critics, a new Taylor Swift aesthetic, the Pulitzers, Notre Dame in flames, Pete Buttigieg mania! Pete Buttigieg cancellation! Gruesome abortion news. More gruesome abortion news. More gruesome abortion news. And a full Beyoncé film.
(I'm the same as ever. Two developments: I cut off about six inches of hair and I also realized that Mark Zuckerberg and Elizabeth Holmes are identical now.)
I feel bad I've been so absent. I do. We were all out here, attempting survival, and I let us down. I can't explain it. Work was insane. Passover came and forced me to endure a week without access to flour. Each weekend, I meant to fire up the ol' hand mixer and then, each weekend, some overdue piece needed an edit or I realized I had no clean underwear or I just had to see the new implausible Seth Rogen-Charlize Theron rom-com in theaters. I loved it, FWIW. It was self-aware, hilarious, impossible to believe, and a pleasure, and I shan't hear a critique against it! A good approximation of how I felt about it, here.
The point is promise better communication in the future. And more vanilla extract.
What I can't promise: That men will give up on their crusade to keep women down, that Bill De Blasio will come to his senses, that I didn't nominate this video of Keanu Reeves plus puppies for the Nobel Peace Prize. (It needed to be done.)
It's been a bad time both on and off the internet. Yes, another one. As I texted a friend after I spent about 10 hours elbow deep in stories about various abortion bans across three states, some of which would prosecute doctors who perform the procedure, some of which would prosecute women who induce the procedure, and some of which would do both, this week has been "not quite Kavanaugh-level, but up there."
If I am grateful to Republicans at all, it's for the rhetorical shorthand their craven tactics have given us. "This week, uh, it was not quite award-a-stolen-Supreme-Court-case-to-a-sexual-abuser-who-will-thus-be-able-to-control-women's-bodies-for-several-generations bad. It was just almost that bad.
I spent about 14 hours in a deep depression, and then another 48 or so with a dull ache in the pit of my stomach. An awareness that felt like an anvil: women will die, and that's fine with them. I didn't know what to do, so I stuck to the usual four-pronged apporach: donate, scream/tweet into the void, write, bake. I donated to the Yellowhammer Fund, which helps women afford abortions at the three abortion clinics that still stand in Alabama, and to the National Network of Abortion Funds, whose express mission is to "remove the financial and logistical barriers to abortion access," which sounds super at the moment.
I also set up a monthly donation to Run for Something, which we've talked about in this newsletter before. It recruits and trains progressive candidates to run in down-ballot elections. It's cute that we have about two dozen people in the presidential race, but our state governments are in shambles because while the GOP realized a few decades ago it could ruin our lives if it controlled state houses, it has taken no less than a wannabe fascist in the White House to convince the Democrats it's time to catch up. Help us preserve what pathetic civil liberties we still have! We'll need some decent men and women (and women and women and women and more women) to do it.
Then I baked.
It's hard to come up with the most suitable baked good to respond to a set of laws that wants to accord full citizen status to an invisible clump of cells and also demote the real, alive woman in whose uterus that fetus would live to a shadow class of personhood I'd describe as "incubator who still owes taxes." This macaroon is the best I could do.
When I was a kid, the macaroons at Godiva were a particular favorite. Almost as good as a hot Krispy Kreme donut. Sometimes, my mom would pick me up from school and march me over to the store and I'd be allowed to get a chocolate-dipped one, a formidable treat at $4. Like that one, this recipe is about four ingredient and tastes like cloudless weather. It's a cookie that requires 10 minutes to prepare, 15 to bake, and less than one to eat. Sure, it won't uphold Roe v. Wade, but I hope it is a reminder that it's sweet to be alive. Also, we have a war to wage, and I've heard coconut is a "good fat."
Easiest Ever Coconut Macaroons
Servings: 20 macaroons
Distractability: 2
Scratchpad: One point for the use of a whisk, which makes me feel like a homesteader. (But also, you can just use a fork.) One point for the luscious scent of coconut, proven to calm nerves better than Feu de Bois.
Notes: For an even deeper coconut flavor, toast the coconut for about five minutes at 325F at the start. I like a softer, denser cookie, so I never do this. Also, I use unsweetened coconut flakes here. If you can only find sweetened ones, reduce the sugar to around a 1/2 cup (or 100 grams).
Ingredients:
3 cups (225 grams) unsweetened, shredded coconut
4 large egg whites
3/4 cup (150 grams) sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon salt
To-Do List:
Heat the oven to 350F. If you want to toast the coconut, do it now for about five minutes. Let it cool somewhat.
Whisk the egg whites in a large bowl. I used a whisk for the vibe, but a fork works fine. You just want them to froth up a little; 30 seconds is great.
Add sugar, vanilla, and salt. Whisk well to combine.
Pour in coconut, then stir until the coconut is fully hydrated and evenly distributed.
Shape the macaroons. With a tablespoon or a cookie scoop (I used a #40, which was a tad generous), shape batter into small mounds. These don't spread, so feel free to pack them in.
Bake cookies for 15-20 minutes, until just golden brown. Let rest for at least 10 minutes. Eat within the week, god knows we need it.
Distractions, Diversions, Things I Bought to Cope With Impending Doom
These exuberant hoops from Alison Lou. I scooped them up in coral, but I like the lime green, too.
A frighteningly delicious protein bar.
This "Adaptogen Deep Moisture Cream," which smells a little like a shiitake mushroom, but that has thrilled my skin. (Don't tell my skin about all the bad laws.)
Fork Over That Dough
See above. Plus, the rest of the brave organizations on this list.
Oh, And
I need dessert inspo! Send me recipes, requests, and links to new condiments and/or skincare I should purchase. I do love an artisanal nut butter and a serum. Also, no #spon: I just love this bra.